What does “Friends with Benefits” mean?
Friends with Benefits-type of relationships refer to having sexual relations with a friend. There is no deep emotional involvement and no label to the relationship other than just “friends”.
Such connections do not have pressure and are free from demands because there is no real commitment or relationship involved.
Two friends can just hang out and enjoy having consensual sex with each other in the same way they would do other things together.
Kyle and Anne
Kyle and Anne attended one of our events and managed to share their story. They met in college and consider each other close friends for over 7 years.
Their closeness and familiarity with each other has drawn them to have sexual connections. Neither of them is in a relationship and they consider each other’s confidante and ally.
Kyle and Anne described their friendship as comfortable and not very different from any kind of boy-girl friendship. The only difference is that they enjoy having sex with each other without any guilt and awkward feelings after.
They even discuss the things which they find pleasurable in bed and the ones that are not. They learn from each other and they give each other advice. And, they try different things together and are not afraid to make a fool out of themselves in front of each other.
Kyle even discusses to Anne his crushes and the girls he’s dating. The same goes for Anne who talks to Kyle about her idea of romance including the guys who pursue her. They discuss sexual issues including open relationships and swingers.
Their unconventional friendship which they define as “Friends with Benefits” enabled them to learn from each other and to rely on their friendship whenever they’re feeling down or when dealing with heartbreaks.
They believe that they’re friendship is perfect as it is and they don’t see themselves being romantically-linked with each other. However, they are certain about wanting to keep their friendship for as long as they can – with or without having sex.
The 5 Basic Rules of “Friends with Benefits”
Being Friends with Benefits may or may not work for a lot of individuals. After all, it is not easy to have sexual relations with someone you’re not romantically-linked with. And for some, it’s quite impossible to not fall in love with someone you’re having sex with.
Not everyone may find a connection similar to what Kyle and Anne share. But for those who are considering the idea with their friend, here are some basic rules that were mentioned;
- You must not fall in love with your friend.
- You’re not allowed to get jealous.
- You’re not in the position to make demands about time and attention.
- Sex is not an obligation to each other.
- You are free to date other people and get into relationships.
The Upside of “Friends with Benefits”
According to Kyle and Anne, the best thing about being Friends with Benefits is that they don’t need to impress each other. They don’t have to make certain efforts.
They can just be their comfortable selves and carry on with their friendship without pressure and demands. Although they don’t see each other as boyfriend or girlfriend material, they can definitely see their friendship in their future.